:: how English is your English?? ::

Hey, to people out there, who thinks their English is good, can you somehow read and understand these sentences?

These are points and sentences to ponder. Originally, my colleague, Jono (Jonathan) was the one who brought this up to me. Testing my English eh, Jono? Anyway, here they go..

1. James, while John had had "had," had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.

2. That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is.

3. Time flies like an arrow... Fruit flies like bananas.

4. For my sign, please put more room between the "Smith" and "and", and "and" and "Sons".

5. The man saw the boy with the binoculars.

6. They are hunting dogs.

7. Police help dog bite victim.

8. Woman without her man is incomplete.

9. What has four wheels and flies?



And here are the explanations:

1. While John had used 'had' in his writing, James had used 'had had' in his. The teacher had preferred 'had had'.

2. All that is, is, and that anything that does not exist does not.

3. Time pass us by quickly like an arrow. While fruit flies (a type of flies) like bananas.

4. It's just about someone asking you to put more spaces between each of the words in "Smith and Sons".

5. At least there are three arrangements:
i. The man saw (past tense of see) a boy by using the man's binoculars.
ii. The man saw (pas tense of see) a boy which has binoculars.
ii. The man cut the boy by using the man's binoculars. (THIS IS WEIRD!)

6. Two arrangements:
i. They, are the hunting dogs.
ii. They are hunting for dogs.

7. Two arrangements:
i. Police help the dog to bite the victim. (HAHA!!)
ii. Police help the victim who was earlier bitten by a dog.

8. Two arrangements, and two very different meanings:
i. Woman, without her man, is incomplete.
ii. Woman: without her, man is incomplete.

9. The answer: garbage truck. "What has flies and four wheels?" resolves the ambiguity, but ruins the joke.